Conflicting ideas and negative feelings are an inevitable part of any close relationship.

John Gray in Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus says:

‘Some people fight all the time, and gradually their love dies. Others suppress their honest feelings in order to avoid conflict and argument. As a result of suppressing their true feelings they lose touch with their loving feelings as well. One couple is having a war, the other is having a cold war.’

Neither of these approaches works. When we hurt one another, we need to be able to bring it out into the open, let go of our pride, say sorry and forgive. This requires good communication. Have we, as a couple, settled disagreements between us in a constructive way?

The point of this test is not the existence or absence of conflict but our ability to resolve it.

John Gray, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus (Thorsons, an Imprint of Harper Collins Publishers 1993) p. 151.

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